Three-Dimensional Fears
Three-Dimensional movies will kill me eventually.
Let me explain.
I was six.
Meet the Robinsons had just come out
And I got a chance to watch it-
Wait for it-
In 3D.
Oh no,
And little did I know,
That day would stick with me forever.
The dinosaur-
The Tyrannosaurus Rex with the small arms and the big head-
Took a big bite at the crowd,
Took a bite at me.
I loved the movie
Who wouldn’t?
But I didn’t get over the fact that a dinosaur
Basically ate me
Well,
Digitally.
I was seven.
The Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert movie had just come out.
They were showing it in 3D.
I decided that I was old enough
To get over my fear of movies that were blurry without
Cardboard glasses.
I mean, as scary as 3D is,
And was,
Hannah Montana was right in front of me!
That’s incredible!
Like the great Ellen DeGeneres says, “Annnnnnywaaaay,”
The movie was riveting-
Or at least my seven-year-old brain thought it was-
Until that fatal moment when Hannah-
Slash Miley’s-
Guitar player flung his pick into the audience,
Into me.
I know for a fact that something hit me in the face that moment.
Don’t get me wrong,
I knew it wasn’t possible, I’m not stupid now,
And I wasn’t stupid then,
But I was done with 3D movies.
Sort of.
I was twelve.
I had a bit of a
“Victoria (that’s me) is not scared of anything!”
Type of reputation going.
Jaclyn, my sole sibling, knew that I had fears,
Many actually.
I wasn’t going to let Shaune,
A family friend who undoubtedly feared me,
Know that I feared,
And still do fear,
3D movies.
But,
That backfired a bit when his grandmother offered
To take the three of us,
Jaclyn, Shaune, and me,
To see World War Z
In-
You guessed it!-
3D.
But dude, I was twelve.
I’d seen an R rated movie already.
Of course it was the classic
The Breakfast Club,
And I wasn’t afraid of a little zombie movie.
And I definitely wasn’t afraid of a stupid,
Dumb,
Horrifyingly scary,
Three-Dimensional movie.
Definitely.
Uh.
Not.
When the first zombie appeared on the screen,
I closed my eyes to prove to be the wimp I was-
Am,
So Jaclyn called me a baby.
I refused to watch the movie in 3D.
And I thought maybe
If I take my glasses off
I could still watch the movie!
But,
I forgot the fact that it’s blurry without them,
And so I closed my eyes and listened.
I asked for an update every few minutes.
Never again,
I told myself,
Will I ever see a 3D movie.
And I never did,
But I hate the fact
That I made excuses as to why I never saw one again.
“I was six,” I would say.
Stupidly six with a stupid fear.
Also,
Stupidly seven with a stupid fear.
My excuse from when I was twelve
Was that I was scared by the zombies-
And don’t get me wrong,
That’s also a stupid fear,
But I denied the fact that what scared me was the fact that it was a 3D movie.
I excessively make excuses,
As ridiculous and absurd as they are
Or might be.
Why I refuse to own up to my fears,
My mistakes,
My issues,
I will never know.
Insecurity,
Possibly.
Not every 3D movie I’ve ever seen
Ended terribly.
But I guess we just remember the memorable,
The disasters,
And the best days,
But never the normal
Because everything else is just everyday
Stuff.
Victoria Staub is a 15 year from Ambler, Pennsylvania old who attends Wissahickon High School.