Three-Dimensional Fears

 

Three-Dimensional movies will kill me eventually.

Let me explain.

I was six.

Meet the Robinsons had just come out

And I got a chance to watch it-

Wait for it-

In 3D.

Oh no,

And little did I know,

That day would stick with me forever.

The dinosaur-

The Tyrannosaurus Rex with the small arms and the big head-

Took a big bite at the crowd,

Took a bite at me.

I loved the movie

Who wouldn’t?

But I didn’t get over the fact that a dinosaur

Basically ate me

Well,

Digitally.

 

I was seven.

The Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert movie had just come out.

They were showing it in 3D.

I decided that I was old enough

To get over my fear of movies that were blurry without

Cardboard glasses.                                                                               

I mean, as scary as 3D is,

And was,

Hannah Montana was right in front of me!

That’s incredible!

Like the great Ellen DeGeneres says, “Annnnnnywaaaay,”

The movie was riveting-

Or at least my seven-year-old brain thought it was-

Until that fatal moment when Hannah-

Slash Miley’s-

Guitar player flung his pick into the audience,

Into me.

I know for a fact that something hit me in the face that moment.

Don’t get me wrong,

I knew it wasn’t possible, I’m not stupid now,

And I wasn’t stupid then,

But I was done with 3D movies.

Sort of.

 

I was twelve.

I had a bit of a

“Victoria (that’s me) is not scared of anything!”

Type of reputation going.

Jaclyn, my sole sibling, knew that I had fears,

Many actually.

I wasn’t going to let Shaune,

A family friend who undoubtedly feared me,

Know that I feared,

And still do fear,

3D movies.

 

But,

That backfired a bit when his grandmother offered

To take the three of us,

Jaclyn, Shaune, and me,

To see World War Z

In-

You guessed it!-

3D.

 

But dude, I was twelve.

I’d seen an R rated movie already.

Of course it was the classic

The Breakfast Club,

And I wasn’t afraid of a little zombie movie.

And I definitely wasn’t afraid of a stupid,

Dumb,

Horrifyingly scary,

Three-Dimensional movie.

Definitely.

Uh.

Not.

 

When the first zombie appeared on the screen,

I closed my eyes to prove to be the wimp I was-

Am,

So Jaclyn called me a baby.

I refused to watch the movie in 3D.

And I thought maybe

If I take my glasses off

I could still watch the movie!

 

But,

I forgot the fact that it’s blurry without them,

And so I closed my eyes and listened.

I asked for an update every few minutes.

Never again,

I told myself,

Will I ever see a 3D movie.

And I never did,

But I hate the fact

That I made excuses as to why I never saw one again.

 

“I was six,” I would say.

Stupidly six with a stupid fear.

Also,

Stupidly seven with a stupid fear.

My excuse from when I was twelve

Was that I was scared by the zombies-

And don’t get me wrong,

That’s also a stupid fear,

But I denied the fact that what scared me was the fact that it was a 3D movie.

I excessively make excuses,

As ridiculous and absurd as they are

Or might be.

Why I refuse to own up to my fears,

My mistakes,

My issues,

I will never know.

Insecurity,

Possibly.

Not every 3D movie I’ve ever seen

Ended terribly.

But I guess we just remember the memorable,

The disasters,

And the best days,

But never the normal

Because everything else is just everyday

Stuff.

 

Victoria Staub is a 15 year from Ambler, Pennsylvania old who attends Wissahickon High School.