The Crush



By: Morgan Fillis

It's the first week of school and you already noticed him.
A boy with eyes as pure honey,
a smile that could light up the darkest caves,
and freckles spread across his face.
Somehow you were lucky enough for him to notice you
and the cute boy across the room was yours.
He looked at you and all you felt was the flutter of a dozen butterflies in your chest.

He soon started to explore your body.
You liked it,
for a while.
The feeling of his hands tracing every inch of you left you breathless.
He knew how to make you weak with one touch.
Soon you were entranced in his spell.
You were his and everyone knew it,
especially him.

The word “no” was quickly removed from his vocabulary
and you no longer enjoyed the things you did in the beginning.
His gentle touches turned into daggers grazed across your thighs,
his kiss felt like the flames of hell,
and his words no longer felt genuine but scripted.

His touch was an uncomfortable feeling so you pushed his hands away
but the bruises told you to stop.
You were weak,
retained
and could no longer remember how to breathe.
It was as if he were holding your head under water for hours on end.

One day your shackles were loose and you finally left.
You were free from the toxic relationship.
You could breathe again.
Every breath you took felt crisp as a summer’s night
but you still didn't feel the same.
It was as if you forgot to pack your bags before leaving.
Something was missing and you desperately wanted it back.

Your dignity,
self-worth,
and happiness was left behind.
But it was more than that.
He took a piece of your soul from your body
just so you could never feel like yourself again.
You began to believe he was the only way you ever could feel like yourself again,
but were never foolish enough to go back.
You still see the cute boy across the room
but his hands are dirty and eyes no longer pure.
Everything has changed, and this is where a new story begins.
 

Morgan Fillis is 15 and lives in Mount Angel, Oregon.